Darkness by Flaming-Lotus

Darkness, this word alone can take me back. “I should be okay shouldn't I”? The yelling the smell of being trapped not aloud outside. Stuck in my head being nothing but their bank. Moving place to place motel to motel never in the same place. Loss of family and safety nothing but Darkness

“Take your time” they say, not knowing that it's right there in your head. Every injury brings you back to that dark place, asked to think of your past for a stupid letter saying if I passed the class. Your body Crumbles up and you cover your head waiting for it to pass only realizing that it was self-inflicted too late. “Don't think about” “It's over” “your being hysterical” words plague my brain thinking of my sister with whom these words were said making her mad and with the same feeling I had “trapped”.

Deep in a downward spiral unable to stop. The only way to live through it is grabbing the lifeline cast into your pit. Coming down from the self that you are so the two halves can come back together to be the person you want to be. Ever falling back into that pit of darkness and loneliness hoping for a ray of light that will never come, waiting for the sweet release of death to come but you have to stay determined.

Faking a smile and happiness is hard only recently did I find the smile I lost when I was a child.