Older Generations pt.1

Older Generations just don't get it. I was thinking that no one understands me, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was just the older generations. My grandma said that I would be kicked out of college because my socks were on the floor of my room and that my roommates would kick me out because I "smelled bad." I am on the heavier side, like in the middle though, and my whole life the older generations in my family like my grandparents called me my sibling fat and me lazy.

Me, I was told no one would want "someone like me" as a wife, or husband because I am lazy and different hear well and didn't take well to being told what to do by an angry man. Over the years it stopped only because I went to the hospital for a while. I was never one to conform or be girly. And now older people think they know me more than me. I am (on the outside) a happy-go-lucky guy who is quiet most of the time and seems fine without a thought in my head. But I am really thinking about everything that has ever happened to me mainly the bad. It may take me a while to catch up to speed or process things but That is because like 1,000 things are going on in my head and people think I am not thinking of any think and I am always in battle with Cancer Trama, Depression, Thoughts of falling downstairs, and navigating life.

I am not afraid to laugh at myself and what I stand for its funny. I make bald jokes, death jokes, Black jokes you name it. Some people think it's bad and tell me to stop and I try because it makes them sad and then the thoughts come back and then I joke; you see the point. I am done pleasing people, but I will remain civil.